Homer's Million
by Awb
Summary: Homer wins a million...but it's all in California!
1. Chapter One

Homer's Million  
  
I don't own any of these characters. They aren't mine. :) Thanks!  
  
Chapter One (more to come)  
  
"I'm off to work Marge." Homer called from the living room as usual.  
"Ok Homey." Marge answered as she came in and kissed him.  
Homer closed the door and was off on the road in a matter of moments.  
"Kids, bus is here!" Marge called as the bus pulled in front of their house. Marge hugged and kissed them and soon, they were off on the road too.  
  
Marge returned to the kitchen, but heard that mail had come. She retrieved it from the living room floor and carried it back to the kitchen. She sat down and went through it. There were two bills, a coupon book, and a letter for Homer. Marge didn't see a return address, so just left it on the table for him.  
  
=-=-= 3:00 P.M arrives. =-=-=  
  
"I'm home Marge!" Homer hollered from the living room as usual.  
"Hey Homey. The kids are upstairs. I got the mail, and there's something for you." Marge told.  
"Yippee! Mail!" Homer jumped up and down. He took the envelope and opened it carelessly. He put on his glasses and read it.  
"Dear Homer.blah, blah, blah." Homer continued slowly. Suddenly he burst out the news.  
"I'VE WON A MILLION!" Homer yelled for joy as his glasses flew off.  
"What?! Dollars right? Not like that time you won 1 million cans of peanuts. Let me see that!" Marge said as she took the letter.  
"Wow.. but you have to get it.. in California! California isn't exactly around the block Homer." Marge commented.  
"Who cares? It'd be another adventurous Simpson Vacation!" Bart suggested as he and Lisa both heard the news.  
"How did dad win this though?" Lisa asked carefully.  
"I was at the dentist and was reading The Yacht. I paged through it and if you sent in this card with your name, and other useless information on it, and they picked it, you'd win a million dollars!" Homer explained excitedly.  
"What other information?" Marge asked worriedly.  
"Where you live, your birthday and your phone number." Homer answered.  
"That's why we've been getting telemarketers asking us if we want to buy a yacht. I counted 26 calls today!" Marge complained.  
"It's all for a million dollars Marge! The Simpson's are going to California!" Homer announced.  
"But Dad-" Lisa started.  
"The Simpson's are going to California!" Homer cut in.  
"Dad, the costs though-" Lisa tried to explain.  
"The Simpson's are going to California." Homer finished, annoyed. 


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two (more to come)  
  
"Well, what should we pack?" Lisa asked.  
"Everything. Pack the dog, pack the cat, and pack the lawnmower! We're going to California!" Homer hollered.  
"I'll just pack some clothes." Lisa said dryly.  
"We're leaving tonight!" Homer cried as he ran upstairs and started packing.  
"Mom. I don't think this is going to work out so well." Lisa said.  
"Just think of it as a vacation. A much needed one." Marge replied.  
"What about school? How long are we going to be gone?" Lisa worried.  
"We're the Simpson's honey. Everything will work out." Marge answered.  
"Argg.." Lisa said as she saw her dad bringing down the toilet.  
"Just in case Marge. You never know when something might come up," Homer explained, "or out."  
"I'll be in my room." Lisa said annoyed and walked past her dad.  
"Are you done packing Marge?" Homer asked, raising his eyebrow.  
"I figured you packed our whole room. So, yes, I'm done." Marge answered, walking out the door.  
Everyone had finished packing and were all piled in the car, heading toward the Atlantic Ocean.  
"Dad! We're going to California!" Lisa said.  
"I know sweetie. Don't be a back seat driver now." Homer replied sweetly.  
"Turn around dad! You're going the wrong way!" Lisa yelled.  
"Ohh." Homer answered as he swerved the car around.  
The Simpson family, off on the wrong foot, began their million-dollar quest.  
  
=-= Many, many, many days later =-=  
  
"We're here! We're here! We're really, really here!" Homer yelled as he pulled into an expensive hotel.  
"What are doing here?" Lisa asked, looking at the gold plated parking lot.  
"We're millionaires right? We should start acting like ones!" Homer explained.  
"We haven't gotten the million yet, dad." Bart argued.  
"Stop it! You're ruining my fun!" Homer said as he got outside and looked at the letter. "They say we need to go to The Yacht Shop on 3264 Yacht Lane. Hey, that's it! Look! There it is, The Yacht Shop. Hurry guys!" Homer called as he ran into the middle of the street with cars driving past and yelling at him.  
The Simpson family entered The Yacht Shop and stepped up to the front counter.  
"Hello, how may I help.you?" A stuffy, old guy asked them.  
"I won a million dollars and would like to have it now." Homer stated.  
"Oh, my, I'm sorry, but who are you?" The clerk asked.  
"Homer J. Simpson." He replied.  
"Well, I'm sorry, but the real Homer J. Simpson just claimed his prize. Sorry imposter and imposter family." The stuffy man said sarcastically.  
"Nobody calls me an imposter!" Homer yelled and lunged at the man.  
"Homer, no!" Marge cried and took Homer out of the store.  
"I demand answers!" Homer yelled. He wriggled free of his wife's grasp and stormed back into the store.  
"Who is this Homer J.?" he asked.  
"Well, I can't give out that information." The stuffy man replied. Homer ignored him and took the paper that the man was holding.  
  
"Wait! That's confidential information!" He yelled.  
"Too bad!" Homer said as he ran out of the store with the clerk chasing after him. "Quick, into the car!" Homer instructed as the family of 5 piled into the car.  
"You won't get away with it Homer J.!" The clerk called after the car as it drove away.  
"Well Marge. This Homer J. Simpson lives in Kentucky. I say we go to Kentucky and pay him a visit, where he pays us!" Homer suggested.  
"Dad! I've already missed 1 week of school! I see my future going down the drain! Just like when we lost seven thousand dollars to figurines!" Lisa cried.  
"Lisa, school is for losers! We're going to beat this guy up and take what's rightfully ours!" Bart argued.  
"Money means more than knowledge?" Lisa asked.  
"You bet!" Bart replied. 


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter 3 (more to come)  
  
"Are we there yet? I'm getting tired of living in a car dad." Bart whined.  
"Hold your horses Bart. I've just gotta find the street." Homer said, searching the street signs.  
"Well, we'll help you look. What is it?" Marge asked. She too was getting tired of living in a car.  
"It's called The Street." Homer replied.  
"There it is." Lisa called. Homer did a sharp turn, ran over a mailbox, but was soon cruising down The Street.  
"Ok dad. What's the address?" Lisa asked.  
"638948." He rambled off.  
"Oh, you just past it." Lisa commented.  
"Crap." Homer did another sharp turn and found himself over a mailbox again.  
The Simpson car pulled up to 638948 The Street. The family got out of the car and walked up to the front door. Homer knocked rapidly.  
"Coming." Answered a voice from inside. Soon, the door creaked open.  
"Hello Homer. I'm Homer J. Simpson and I believe you have something that is mine. It might just involve a million dollars." Homer explained calmly.  
"Nope." The man answered and shut the door in his face.  
"Nobody shuts the door in my face." Homer yelled as he lunged himself at the door.  
"Owww." Homer whined.  
"Let's break in!" Bart suggested.  
"I don't want to be breaking the law." Marge started.  
"Oh come one! This is ours! If you ask me, he stole it from us!" Bart argued.  
Lisa snorted. "Yeah right Bart. The cops are going to listen to you!" Lisa laughed.  
"Guys, cool it. Of course I want the million dollars, but I don't want to breaking the law-" Marge began.  
"I can find a loophole." Bart announced.  
Lisa snorted again. "Bart, you can't find your room sometimes." Lisa stated.  
"Apparently, The Yacht Shop should give away 2 million dollars. 1 for us, and this guy should keep the other." Marge suggested.  
"No. I object!" Homer began. "We should get the 2 million dollars, and this guy should get nothing."  
"Oh brother." Lisa said.  
"Let's try to reason with him, ok?" Marge asked.  
Homer knocked again and the guy stepped out.  
"What do you want from me?" Homer #2 asked.  
"The million dollars bub!" Homer said, poking Homer #2 in the chest.  
"Watch where your poking weirdo!" Homer #2 yelled.  
"Nobody calls me a weirdo!" Homer yelled and lunged himself for the 3rd time.  
"Ahh!" Homer #2 screamed and scurried back inside. Homer came into contact with a door.for the 2nd time.  
"Oww.I have to stop doing this." Homer said.  
"Why don't we call the cops?" Marge asked.  
"No! The cops don't do anything except help people. What we need is someone to get our million dollars." Homer protested.  
"Dad," Lisa began, "you need to think things through." She finished.  
"Pshh! Yeah right!" Homer replied.  
"Lets wait till night fall, then break in and steal it! Don't argue people!" Bart said.  
"Yeah! We could be like those people in the movies!" Homer jumped up and down.  
"You mean burglars, dad?" Lisa asked.  
"Whatever." Homer shrugged.  
"You know I did suggest this before." Bart said annoyed.  
"Whatever." Homer shrugged again. 


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four  
  
"Shhh! Dad, you're being too loud!" Bart whispered loudly.  
"You know I'm only walking!" Homer argued.  
"Guys, I can't believe we're doing this, but if we're going to be taking an hour just going up to the window, I'm leaving." Lisa said.  
With that, Homer went up and removed the window.  
"What kind of house is this guy living in?" Bart asked.  
"A crappy one." Homer answered.  
"I'll go in, take the million and then split. Like a banana..mmm.bananas." Homer started to drool.  
Homer then entered the house rather loudly, knocking over various items, such as a vase, an end table, and a T.V.  
"Dad! What the heck are you doing?" Bart whispered loudly into the dark house.  
"I got it! I got it!" Homer yelled.  
"I knew we should've duct taped his mouth closed." Lisa shook her head.  
Homer then ran out of the window, falling on the cement, while Marge put the window back.  
"Hey guys! We did it!" Homer whispered.  
"Let's go back to the car." Lisa suggested, glancing around nervously.  
The Simpson family was in the car ready to leave, when Homer heard a knock at his window. He turned at saw Homer #2.  
"Guys, don't look now, but the guy is at my window!" Homer whispered loudly.  
"Just leave. He can't run to catch up with us!" Bart said.  
Homer nodded and took off with Homer #2 eating dust.  
  
=-= A few days later =-=  
  
"I can't believe we all did this.for nothing." Lisa complained.  
"Lisa.we had an exciting adventure!" Bart argued. "We broke the law, broke some other stuff and took back what was ours!" Bart finished.  
"All for Dad to forget at a bathroom somewhere in Kentucky." Lisa shook her head.  
"I bet if we didn't stop so many times, we could've traced our steps and found it." Marge commented.  
"Oh come on! If you were as excited as me, I'm sure you'd have to go too! I wanted to carry what was ours everywhere." Homer argued.  
"What about that toilet you brought with us? I though you'd use that." Lisa asked annoyed.  
"Oh, it fell off somewhere in Ohio." Homer shrugged.  
"Now we have to go toilet shopping!" Marge said excitedly.  
"I'll be in my room." Lisa said and went up the stairs.  
"Can I crap in the backyard?" Bart asked happily.  
"Sure you can son." Homer answered as he patted him on the head. Homer went to the living room with a big grin. He still thought he was a millionaire.  
  
The End 


End file.
